Readers of my Facebook page will already know that I have just been released from Plumstead Grove Open Prison, after serving three months for credit card fraud. I feel that the sentence was a little stiff, but I have had more than enough time to mend my ways and think carefully about how I am going to spend the rest of my retirement.
I celebrated my freedom by buying a bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothchild Pauillac 1996 – a snip at £103. Talk about being at the right place at the right time. There was only one bottle left.
Once prescribed to King Louis XV as a tonic, this wine became the star of Versailles. Remarkably dark, it sports mineral aromas of mint, black currant and the merest hint of horse shit. Its texture is silky and lingers in the mouth. After three glasses I had an erection, and after the fourth glass I was sound asleep.
It’s nice to be out of prison in time for Christmas. I hope to spend it at Hogg Hall with my old friend Giles Hogg Marchmont and his delightful daughter Celestia May. A Merry Christmas to all.
